The pursuit of love on LinkedIn
Roula Khalaf, Editor of the FT, selects her favourite stories in this weekly newsletter.
Kristin was urged by a friend to join LinkedIn because it would “change her life”. It was her career – in business development and sales – the friend was referring to. Yet the transformation in her fortunes turned out to be much more than a new job.
An Arizona resident, Kristin held ambitions to move to California so she joined LinkedIn to network with professionals in that state. One day, while browsing the website, she noticed Adam, from San Diego, had checked her profile out. They had no common connections. But the marketing executive worked in a similar industry and lived in California so she sent him a message to quiz him about local companies.
“It didn’t hurt that he was attractive too,” she adds. “But that was not my intention.” At least not at first.
They exchanged numerous InMails via the site’s private messaging service. She filled him in on her aspirations; he sent her details about local companies, going so far as to post her a copy of the San Diego business journal.
One thing led to another: their technological connections became increasingly intimate. InMail led to FaceTime calls, before slipping to texts. The conversations became deeper. Professional concerns faded to the background, superseded by “life, family and values”. “We had so much in common and made each other laugh so much that the only thing to do next was to meet in person.” She used to sneak peeks of his picture at work; it gave her “butterflies”. He told her he liked her red hair.
Kristin soon found a job in California. Seven months after their original LinkedIn connection, Adam asked her to marry him. She said yes. It is only three months until the big day. LinkedIn’s chief executive is sending some wedding advice for the ceremony, and the happy couple plan to include the company logo in their photos.
For Joe, in Massachusetts, it was a case of rekindling a school friendship on LinkedIn that sparked a romance. He browsed the networking site to look up classmates, past colleagues and old friends. One person he was particularly keen to find was Sherry, who he had dated between 1976 and 1978. “She was very special to me then,” he reflects. “I guess I never forgot how special she was.” In fact, for 35 years he used to pick her phone number as his lottery numbers. “So I guess she was always in my thoughts in some way or another,” he says.
He found her on LinkedIn and “she was as beautiful to me as she had been 35 years earlier”. He smiled to himself and then moved on, without any intention of contacting her.
Meanwhile, Sherry, recently unemployed, was using LinkedIn for its original purpose. A reluctant digital networker, she was in the process of brushing up her profile. Scrolling down her personal details, she came across the list of people who had viewed her profile, including Joe.
Two days later, she sent him a message with her phone number. He called and it felt like “we never left each other – ever”. She moved to Massachusetts in 2010. And last year they were married.
Although LinkedIn is keen to promote its professional purpose, its dating potential has not gone unnoticed by its users – a modern twist on the office romance. Anything that puts people together may result in love, or at least hookups. One acquaintance of mine met his wife when playing World of Warcraft.
Unsolicited double-edged messages are not uncommon on LinkedIn: the scope for miscommunication is ample as one turns up for a meeting with business cards, the other with flowers. The flipside is pests perusing the site for casual encounters.
This year an app was launched: LinkedUp. Using the networking site’s information but not endorsed by the company, it allows users to peruse the database to source a love match. Users “like” profiles based on their CV, endorsements and potential earning power. Presumably, in the case of job-hoppers, it could also give an indication of commitment phobia.
For Kristin, finding her future husband on LinkedIn was an unexpected outcome. While she would not advise users to trawl the site for dates, she acknowledges its potential. She liked being able to read Adam’s professional background and endorsements. “It gives you a sense of their personality.”
Her best advice? To keep an open mind. “You never know who you are going to meet.”
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